Odlučna _ Decisive

Odlučna

Portretiranje osoba koje su pokušale suicid, nisu uspjele, danas su sretne, na mjestu radnje sa osmjehom na licu. Ovo je najkoncentriraniji time i najprecizniji opis ovog projekta. Ovog autoportretnog projekta. Jer dolazim iz uspješne suicidalne obitelji. Moja nuklearna obitelj (mama, tata, brat i ja) reducirana je na pola. Spala na žensku polovicu. Moje je životno iskustvo uvelike obojano ovom, a i nekim drugim redukcijama. Moji stavovi također. Načini reagiranja. Percipiranje.
I ne, ne mogu reći da sam zavoljela život, shvatila njegovu dragocjenost, mudro učila iz tuđih iskustava, počela živjeti punim plućima zbog ovih izgubljujućih iskustava.
A ipak, volim život, mislim da je dragocjen kada ga takvim osjećaš, nastojim iskoristiti tuđa iskustva, živim najpunije što mogu.
Ovaj je projekt zamišljen kao oda životu. Životu koji je naša istost. Živi smo, zar ne? Životu koji je raznorodan, no ponajviše edukativan. Proširujuć. Životu koji je nama prepustio koloraciju. Mi određujemo boju našeg iskustva. Ova portretirana grupa odlučnih cjelovitija je u svojem iskustvu usudila bih se reći jer su odabrali obje opcije, i odlazeću i ostajaću! Ostali su s razlogom. Može, pošteđeni su s razlogom. Svakako, razlog.
Kažu, mi ne znamo razlog.
Mislim da znamo.
Život je lijep. Ako ga takvim vidimo. Baš zato što je raznorodan i edukativan. Jer mi biramo. Jer smo tu. Zato je ovo jedan odlučan projekt. Projekt koji ne sakriva svoje padove već ih koristi kao pomagača. Projekt koji demantira osamljenost u beznađu.
Projekt koji koristi boju.

Decisive

Portraiying people who tried to commit suicide, and weren’t succesful, which are balanced today, at the very spot they did it with a smile on their faces. This is the most concrete and precise description of this project. Of this autobiographical project. Because I come from a succesful suicide family. My nuclear family (Mum, Dad, brother and I) is reduced to half. To female half. And my life experience is quite coloured with this one, but with some other reductions as well. My attitudes too. The way I react. The way I perceive things.
And no, I cannot say that I have come to love life, that I understood its value, that I wisely learn from other peoples experiences, that I started to live life to the fullest because of my experiences of lost.
And still, I love life, I think it is precious when you feel it as precious, I am trying to learn from other people’s experiences, I live the fullest life I possibly can at a point.
This project is imagined as an Ode to Life. Life, the fact we all share. We are alive, aren’t we? To life which is diverse, but most of all educational. Broadening. To life which allows us to colour it ouselves. We are the ones who determine the colour of our experience. And this portraited group of decisives carries more thorough experience because, I would be so keen to say they’ve chosen both options – the one in which you leave and the one in which you stay. They stayed for a reason. Ok, they are saved for a reason. But still, for the reason.
It has been told, we don’t know the reason.
I think we do.
Life is beautiful. If we see it as beautiful. Because of its diversity and experience. Because we choose. Because we are here. This is a decisive project. A project which does not hide its weaknesses, but uses them as a helping hand instead. A project which denies loneliness in desperateness.
A project that uses colour.